losing it once again...

Check out my brand new blog!

2009-11-08T19:05:00.000+09:00

@ Alethea in Real Life! =) It's basically about my journey through life! It'll blog about my travel adventure, embracing the raw food lifestyle, etc... basically what make me who I am today. =)

walking to work...

2009-04-29T19:31:00.002+09:00

which didn't happen today, but my colleagues think i'm crazy for walking to work. i don't think it's so silly because the Japanese do it every day...i just don't walk in the rain. =) i've had so many people come up to me today about walking to work. maybe it's because they've realized that they are lazy. lol

today, i've been nursing on a the banana, strawberry, dried vanilla bean, pineapple, and orange smoothie all day. i know it probably sounds gross, but I used frozen fruit and put everything in the blender and it remained cold for most of the day. i yielded about 32 oz...so that was a lot...been drinking it all day because it's so thick and yummy.

i had an apple, but gave it to one of my students because she was really hungry.

now, i'm going to make some apple limeade and a detox shot. yummy. I also need to drink at least 32oz of water.

a hiccup along the way...

2009-04-28T19:07:00.002+09:00

On Sunday, I had cooked food not a lot, just some corn, a tiny piece of chicken, (seriously) a bite of the homemade strawberry cake, and the fruit I brought with me to tie me over. Its funny because after eating the chicken I felt sick and had to go to the bathroom. I felt bad bad because it was a baby shower (nope, Im nor with child at least I hope not!) and my students know that I have all these food allergies, so they went through all the troubles of preparing dishes that I can have...even though I told them not to, but they are sweet and thoughtful kids. However, I've been good since then...just a small hiccup that could have lead to my 30 day downfall.

Juice: large cucumber, 2 apples, 1 orange, ginger, zucchini, 2 gold kiwi, and melon (I really liked this drink a lot!)

Lunch: Zucchini pasta and sun-dried tomato sauce

Dinner: orange and banana smoothy

exercise: wii fit

Yesterday:

Juice: Iime and pearapple

Lunch: Zucchini pasta and sun-dried tomato sauce

Dinner: sliced apples

Juice: 1 lemon and ginger shot
and pearapple w/ lime

My students saw my "Living on Live Food" book on my desk and wanted to look at it...so I let them and tld them that I wasn't eating "cooked" food for 30 days, but I did have some at the baby shower because they worked really hard, etc. I feel really, good and I've been in such a good mood (despite work being a major bitch)...and I'm laughing all the time. I have more energy. I don't think I will be able to only eat raw food for the rest of my life...even now and then I may have to have some cooked food, but we'll see. Actually, when I go to Europe in June...I'll have to eat some cooked food, but I will be sure to make sure i have lots of fruits and veggies with me as well. My goal is to be in the 210 when I go to Europe, but if I'm not...I'm not going to beat myself up over it. One day at a time.

I saw a picture of myself from 2007 and I have changed a lot (physically). Funny because I remember when that picture was taken...I was in the 280 or 270s...and I was on cloud nine because I thought I looked great. I did for what it's worth, but now...I look even better ( at least I think so). I just need to be able to break into the 200s...it'll happen. =)

update...1 week down and 3 more to go!

2009-04-24T05:04:00.003+09:00

i'm getting ready for work right now and realized that I didn't blog yesterday. =(

4/23:
3-orange/grapefruits
1 bag of spanish w/ lemon juice and some lemon olive oil
1-tangelo
apple/carrot/pineapple/lemon juice
lemon detox w/ ginger and honey (juice...3 shots): strong!

Exercise: silly dance moves

Today, I don't have a clue. I didn't pre-make my meals because I spent most of the evening chatting with a friend of mine...I miss being around him a lot. I'm going to be cool...

Dinner Experience rawstyle...(sort of)

2009-04-22T21:52:00.002+09:00

I was supposed to have dinner with a friend this evening, but didn't get the message that she was sick until later esp. since I was already in Roppongi and didn't see the point in turning around esp. after the 1 hour trip to get there. I wasn't too sure what I was going to have because Thai food is Thai food and I loved the Thai food at Erwin. They changed their menu so what I had in mind, wasn't listed (vietnamese style spring rolls) which are raw. I ended up ordering the spring rolls and had to make sure it worked with my food allergies, etc...and I had them bring out the veggies they would have cooked in the vegetable green curry and put the green curry on the side. It worked. I was surprised that they were accommodating. Anyhow, I did dip the veggies in the green curry a few times. It was quite refreshing. I wonder if I can make a raw green curry...

Also, our custodian appreciation party went well today. Lots of food, that I didn't have the desire to eat or nibble on. Just wasn't appealing. The custodian brought use fresh watermelon (i love Japanese watermelon...so sweet and juicy...Oishi!) and oranges. There was a lot of fruit left after the party and I ended up taking it home (hence the watermelon and orange juice) juice and put the rest of the orange slices in the freezer because I'm going to experiment with the banana "ice" cream.

Next week, I'm going to check out the only raw food restaurant in Tokyo.

Food:
juice (papaya, apples, carrot, ginger)
detox shot (lemon and ginger)
left over avocado salsa and spanish
watermelon slices
orange
orange and watermelon juice
spring rolls
blood orange juice
salad
plate of veggies
(wow! I had A LOT to eat today)

workout:
walking

Quick update and then its off to bed...

2009-04-21T20:13:00.002+09:00

I've been baking this evening which wouldn't be a big deal if I actually had a built in oven in my kitchen. Don't get me wrong I loved using my gas stove, but I had to go out and buy an convection oven for baking when I first moved into my house. I like to bake...get it from my father. But since I've been eating raw, I needed to counter space for my blender and food processor. So I put the microwave and oven away. Got home today and realized that I was going to have to come up with a better plan of action. So now, both are on a small table. I might move them into another room...just in case I need them, so I dont have to keep on rearranging. As for my gas oven, I covered it w/ a piece of plywood and created a counter top (picture still to come). Which actually works really well because my spices are organized and I have the extra place to put my produce and an area for chopping, etc.

30 minute Wii Fit workout this morning
made juice this morning which would have been great if it weren't for the tinge of grapefruit after taste
I ended up making another type of roll for lunch, spinach with avocado salsa and an orange
dinner just pear apple pineapple and lemon juice w/ ginger (wanted something sweet!)

my new favorite drink...

2009-04-20T18:45:00.002+09:00

PearLimeApple:

1-lime (small)
1-Japanese pear apple (large)

Yields 12oz

Sweet and Tart all at the same time. It reminds me of the Odwalla limeade drink. Next time, I'm going to put a sliver of ginger for that extra twist. =)

and i was doing so well...

2009-04-20T17:27:00.003+09:00

all i wanted was my tangelo. that's all. i usually bring two to work with me to eat to eat as a snack or sometimes my lunch. But today, I just brought one because I had juice and the last of my pasta dishes. i have a student who is pregnant and she usually brings food with her to class and she was really hungry. I offered her my tangelo because she's eating for two and she just look uncomfortable. so to make a long story short, i didn't have my tangelo. so during lunch i decided to walk to the commissary to see if they have them...nope, they just had navel oranges and another type of orange. so i decided to "try something new" and went with the "other" orange. Get back to my room and started to peel it and it was a cross between a grapefruit and orange...very sour. Needless to say, I wasn't satisfied because I wanted something sweet. So on my way home, I have to stop by Lawsons to pay my electric bill. I ended up paying my bill and buying some Japanese candy...I think out of habit. Open it up and took a bit and realized what I was doing. I spit it out... I'm so mad at myself because I've worked so hard. At our orphanage party on Friday, I only ate raw. Im going to a baby shower on Sunday and there will be a lot of food there, but I am only going to eat raw. I guess I should have brought the two tangelos to curb my need/want to just "eat". Got home from work, and enjoyed my tangelos. Seriously, those things are addicting, but good for you!

I also found the one and only raw restaurant in Tokyo! I'm going to try it out on Wednesday (I think...I'm concerned with my nut allergy). =)

Eats:
-Left over "pasta" (throughout the day)
-3 slices of the grapefruit (lunch)
-3 tangelos (dinner)
-20 almonds

Drinks:
-water
-apple, cucumber, ginger, carrot juice (breakfest)

Exercise:
-afternoon walk
-30 minutes of taebo

Now, I'm going to make collard rolls for tomorrow's lunch and dinner.

It's funny because even though I'm trying to loose weight and I'm eating all things that are raw. I really need to lay off the almonds.

=)

"Skin Repair" Drink...

2009-04-19T18:35:00.003+09:00

I've noticed that I have a few pimples on my face...so I made the following drink this evening:

2 cucumbers
1/2 red bell pepper
1 carrot (but I added two)
1/2 apple (but I used a whole)

(and I added a little bit of ginger).

it yielded a little less than 16 oz

Yummy! The ginger definitely added a little kick to it. =)

This could be a entire meal for me. Ok, I feel as if I've had a lot to eat today, but that is ok...at least it wasn't junk food. =)

Day 2: PCC, Cravings, and that three letter word that ends w/ "x"

2009-04-19T16:10:00.003+09:00

Still haven't found my adaptor for my camera...looks like I'll have to pick one up tomorrow. =(

Today, has been interesting. Went out for a walk, did a bit of spring cleaning, reorganized my kitchen, etc. I'm having cravings for something sweet, so I decided to make "Chocolate Moose" which is made with avocado. Interesting taste and I can see how one's mind would think its eating Chocolate Moose. It's funny because I missing shopping PCC because everything that I need for this new lifestyle change of mine, could be found there and I don't have the shop around...one of the draw backs of living overseas. There is an organic store near my house, but its extremely small and most of it is fruits and veggies. I prefer to shop off-base because the produce is fresher and tastes better, however, not all the store carry basic items that I need. lol

Some of the recipes require a food dehydrator, but I don't want to go out and order one after two days of eating raw. I may have to put them in my convection oven on a very, very low temp or maybe I'll just wait to see how the next twenty-eight days work out for me.

Ok, I've been thinking about myself image in the bedroom. I've come a long way, but when it comes to the 3-letter word...I don't think of myself very highly despite what my partner may say. My FWB finds me to be rather sexy and gets excited whenever we hang out, but I don't understand how he can see the rolls and hanging skin as being "sexy". I just don't get it and I sometimes have to question his motives. Why me?! WIth guys its almost always about looks, looks, looks, etc...well, maybe most guys. I've been thinking that maybe its also time to end it w/ him because once again, I need to work on myself and self-esteem. I feel like I'm using him for the sex because my options are pretty slim and he wants to be with a fat girl like myself. Its not a fetish or anything. He just finds the "beauty with everything". But you know, what if I finally lose the last 80-100 pounds would I still feel the same way? Probably so?! Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve someone like him in my life. Last time we were together I just wasn't into it....I was really tired and just lacked the motivation because of my weight gain. In his mind, I lost weight?! I'm hoping with this change in my diet will give me a much stronger drive which will allow me to work on myself. I apologize for my babbles...

My meals have been plentiful...more than enough for one person. I eat about a cup or so and I'm stuffed. Today, I just had leftovers. I had to let them sit out for about an hour because I realized that I don't like my food cold...unless it's supposed to be cold. lol

Meals:
1)Mixed the Fettuccini Alfrado and Pasta
2) celery and apple w/ tangalo juice
3) 2 tangelo s
4) chocolate moose

Exercise:
-Walk 40 minutes
-hand weights 15 minutes

Everyone should read: Wintergirls by Laurie Anderson.

living on live food for 30 days...

2009-04-18T08:05:00.003+09:00

All the twittering (@alethea41) and facebooking I've been doing hasn't held me accountable for my recent weight gain. Yes, I never really had a plan to begin with except for don't deny myself, exercise, and watch my portion control. Last week, I had a doctor's appointment and my weight has gone up by 10 pounds (actually 9.8 to be exact and I still weighed less than my last Drs visit, but still it was a weight gain). To be honest, it didn't surprise me because I feel heavier mentally, physically, and emotionally. Cardio hasn't been an issue because I do walk a lot each day. I've been walking to work which is about 4 miles (7km) when I can (i.e., when it's not raining or if I have to haul a bunch of crap to work...like yesterday). I love my walks esp. in the morning because they relax me. However, my gym workouts are not as frequent as they used to be and I haven't been weight lifting as often as I should as a result, I've lost some muscle tone, but the beauty of weight training: your muscles will snap back into place when you start back up again because they remember. I know that I have been extremely busy with work and haven't really had a lot of "me" time, but that has never stopped me in the past. My lowest ever was in January when I looked and felt really, really good...I was eating at least 3 tangelos a day and hardly anything cooked. Today, I'm really tired and rather sluggish and I just want to sleep. I'm afraid that I may be bording on the lines of depression because work has been difficult, my mom surgery situation, etc. And I think the lack of my energy has a lot to do with certain food that I'm allergic to slowly being reintroduced into my diet, like wheat, eggs, dairy, etc...and I have almonds now. Still the wheat, eggs, and dairy...only in small doses. I can have almonds without any reactions! (Small victory for me!) I have also developed a liking (well, craving) for gummy bears. Not just any brand, but Haribo. Not too sure...I think the texture. This happened over Far East Drama...I gave into temptation. I had a few and just never looked back...until a few days ago. lol As much as I talk about not eating processed food, foods that contain chemicals, I'm a hypocrite when it came to gummy bears. When I was in the states last week, I had this crazy craving for the gummy bears..then I knew I had a problem. And started to realize that this is why my body isn't functioning the way that it should be along with the lack of rigorous exercise and the change in my diet. (Duh! Funny, you can't really find them in the states...so I replace my gummy bear addiction to Vanillia Rooibos Tea, which I had every single day and haven't since I've been back in Japan.)

Since I blogged last, I read Mark Bittman's Food Matters and Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food. I've talked about Pollan's books before and I've posted Bittman's receipts on here before. So what they had to say really wasn't new to me, but for some reason Pollan's catch phrase "Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants" resonated with me this time around because I look at food differently. For quite some time, I have been an advocate for eating whole foods and staying away from processed and fast food. Nothing new for me there. After reading both books, I really started to considering the raw food diet (however, both journalists aren't advocating raw food)...it was just something that I felt I need to do for myself because my body needs it. My body is craving for its energy back. My body is craving nutrients that are found in plants and raw foods. My body wants to feel alive again. I want to feel alive again!

To get myself back on track with my original goals, to get myself back the energy I once had, and the get my skin looking great again...I'm going to "Live on Live Food" (i.e., raw food for 30 days). I've been thinking about doing the this for quite sometime and when I have for a week here and there, it has always been just the basics...eating carrot sticks, apples, bananas, making juice, etc. Which isn't bad, but I always ended not continuing with it because there wasn't enough variety for me. I need variety because I get bored and lazy. Heck, I'm human just like everyone else. I ordered a raw food cookbook about a month ago and it finally arrived a few days ago, I read the book from front to end and was genuinely excited about my new "diet" change. I have marked up the book with recipes I want to try,etc. I still have to make changes to a few of the recipes because of my nut allergy. The first night with the book in hand, I tried the angle hair paste (zucchini) and tomato sauce and was simply amazed with how much it tasted like the "cooked" version...the textures and tasted were wonderful! I would have never though in a million years to substitute zucchini for pasta. My mom has gone sort-of raw...she's been making her own juice meals for about two weeks now and eating a lot of whole food! I am proud of her! It's funny because I've been trying to get her to stay away from processed stuff and she has for the most part...sometimes it's just easier. She started to juice since her last vocal chord surgery.

I haven't had gummy bears in four days. Right now, I really have no desire for them and probably won't for awhile. What's going to be difficult for me is my sweet tooth for chocolate. Well, I gave up most chocolate because of the soy content., but that has since changed because it all depends on the quality of chocolate. (Tangent!) In the book, there are recipes for the chocolate lovers...I just like having a truffle or two every now and then. I'm going to make Fudge Balls tonight. I just have to find carbo powder.

Last night, I prepared my meals for the next few days. I made Fettuccini Alfrado (just w/ almonds because I can't have the other nuts) and it tasted just like the creamy dish. It netted a lot just for one person. I was stuffed after about approx. 1 cup with my favorite tangelo! I also made some more of the Zucchini pasta and marinara sauce (which turned out to be more or less like a pepper/tomato sauce), Salmon Pate (had a it and it does taste like salmon, considering it's been almost two years since I'v had salmon, I have Spanish and lettuce washed and ready to eat, etc. After one day just one raw foods, I feel that I have a bit more energy (well, I feel a bit alert); however, I haven't worked out today...but I will get in some form of physical activity.

I promised myself that I would blog about my experience living on live food for 30 days. 30 days may seem like a long time, but it really isn't...May 18 will be here before you know it. I am so excited and committed to making this change for myself. =) I'll post a few pictures next time because I can't find my SD adaptor. =)

wow...i can't believe that was me four years ago.

2009-01-08T19:10:00.003+09:00

From losing it once again...

I'm guessing that I probably weighed around 330 (maybe more), but this was taken in August a few days before I left for Japan (8/05). I was looking at my progress photos and I look so sad in many of the pictures even though I appear happy. I can't believe how heavy I was and could be, if I hadn't decided that it was time to make a change. Recently, someone posted a bunch of pictures of me (and others) from a few years ago, the pictures were taken around the time when I first lost weight (and started to gain). I thought I looked "so good" back then, but I wasn't doing any weight training which I can the difference it has made. Anyhow, check out my progression photos just to see how far I've come.

new year joys...

2009-01-08T04:44:00.004+09:00

So I started the year off @ 225 and now, I am down to 221. Not too sure what's going on with my system. I've been trying to battle this cold because I still have a nasty cough. I've been working out and eating lots of fruits and veggies...mostly fruits, just because I have really don't have an appetite...which is probably why I've lost 4 pounds since the start. Well, I started the year off (well when I went off to Paris) with a new look and I like it. It's different because my hair is shorter and I have bangs. I feel really good (despite the cold) and sassy. I just feel like..."Hey world, look at me!" I feel as if I need to step out and stop hiding! As silly as it sounds, but being in Paris did something to me. I feel as if I can take on the world and look great all at the same time. =)

I'm still sticking to my BMI goal of 20. However, I am still going to continue to weigh myself daily...just so that I can keep track of my weight. Funny, a few of my colleagues still want to know what my secret is...and it's just doing it...working out and not denying myself anything. lol

want to lose weight....go to Paris!

2009-01-03T02:54:00.002+09:00

seriously! i lost about 10 pounds or so without even trying. each morning i had a croissant w/ orange juice and for dinner I ate well. However, I did walk everywhere. It's the over all lifestyle. It's all about moderation anyway. Well, I had a wonderful time in Paris only to get sick on the last day...the day that I left. I'm stuck in bed right now because I simply don't have the energy to do anything. And to make matters worse, my mom just had some major surgery done in which they had to collapse her lung...so with my being sick...the last thing that I want to do is to get her sick because my cold could put her back in the hospital. =(

Here are my weight loss goals for 2009:

BMI=20s
continue to build muscle
do a better job with the blog, which helps me to be accountable. =)

Happy New Year!!!

cabin fever...

2008-12-22T12:22:00.002+09:00

I'm back home in the states and so far it has been ok. I've been stuck inside for a few days. I did go to the gym on Saturday because the weather was somewhat pleasant. Otherwise, it was been snowing and storming non-stop for a few days and they don't expect it to let up until Tuesday...which is when I leave for Paris.

being stuck in the house, has been dull...I've been munching on junk. i made gluten-free chocolate chip cookie bars and I've been munching on those. no good. I really need to start back up with lifting weights because I am starting to feel "soft" which isn't a good thing. i'm in the maintaining my weight mode right now. it could be worst, i could be gaining, gaining, and gaining, but I'm not.

Happy Holidays!

P.S. I've been twittering a lot, hence, why i have been away from losing it. =(

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T08:51:00.000+09:00

Remember moderation is the key!

=)

thailand...

2008-11-12T04:08:00.002+09:00

I ate so well in Bangkok, but I also walked a lot. =)

election day...the day after (well, 2 days for me since I'm a day ahead).

2008-11-06T05:38:00.002+09:00

I am thrilled with our President-Elect Barrack Obama! On the 4th, I had a wonderful workout and last night (Election Night for most of you guys) I really, really wanted to go home and hop on the internet and read/watch coverage, BUT I made a commitment with myself and with a colleague to walk after school on Wednesdays...well, after the class that I'm facilitating for my colleagues. So we walked around the track...4 miles in 45 minutes. Yea!!!

Since I've been weighing myself on most days (I forget some mornings)...I've lost around 4.3 pounds. I really like the Weight Track application. However, my new weigh in date is the 26th of each month...so let's hope I keep this tread up.

Also, I am going to Thailand for the weekend and I'll probably drop a pound or two while I'm there. If I had planned ahead, I could have had some clothes costumed made for me, but I'll go back. I made take a few dresses to get altered though. =)

Jeans, jeans, jeans....

2008-10-31T06:29:00.003+09:00

When I was heavier, I would not have said the following:

I LOVE wearing jeans! Seriously, they are the most comfortable, stylish, and flattering articles of clothing that I own. This week I wore a pair almost every day...something that I would have never done in the past because I'm known for wearing skirts all the time. =)

Also, a friend of mine is having lap-band surgery tomorrow and I wish her the best of luck!!!! =)

body combat...

2008-10-29T04:50:00.003+09:00

the spinning class has been canceled until future notice. =( So I decided to go ahead and take the Body Combat class...I've taken the class before, but with a different instructor. I've been doing Body Pump which is a nice combo between cardio and weights. Mostly it's a step class with weights and bar bells, etc. I've realized last night (and I think I've said this before)....please, please do the steps in counts of 8, not 9...that's how I learn how to do the moves. It just makes it easier to keep up and to follow along. I still prefer Taebo when it comes to a cardio kickboxing martial arts workout...much better and harder workout. But I'll continue to go because my body needs change. =)

Also, a colleague approached me and were going to start walking twice a week...she wants something different. Since, I've been in the T-buildings, I've been able to get in an extra 3/4-1 mile each day...just by walking the "long" way around the track instead of cutting across. It's only 30 secs more or so.

If you have an iPhone/iTouch....download the application, WeightTrack. You can set weekly, monthly, etc weight loss goals. It'll keep track by showing your progress, etc. Starting Sunday, I've decided to weigh myself daily until I reach my goal. I also change my main weigh in date to the 26th of each month. Ok, I need to get in a quick workout this morning before I head off to work. Happy Losing!

spinning....not out-of-control...yet!

2008-10-27T06:26:00.002+09:00

I'm going to take a spinning class this week. Should be fun! Plus, according to Bob, from the Biggest Loser, I can burn up to 500 calories in 30 minutes. Which isn't a big deal because I that's what I usually burn on average when I do cardio. =) Something new, my body needs to be given challenging and exciting things to do. Otherwise, it will get bored. Also, I've taken the WW approached and this week I'm starting to keep track of my food intake. I'm also going to stay away from sweet (with the exception of natural sweets). Happy Losing!

my winter coat...

2008-10-23T06:19:00.003+09:00

very different from what I would normally wear, but I *heart* it! The color is a lot more vibrant in person. =) I do have a brown lady car coat that I will also wear because orange doesn't go with everything, but I was thinking this would go nice with jeans and skirts. It's nice to finally have some options! Anyhow, it's 6:21am...and I'm off to work!

life happens...almost 2 years ago

2008-10-21T19:46:00.003+09:00

weight in @ 231...about a 4 pound gain. =(

Actually, I need to turn that frown upside down because I have come such a long way and should be proud of myself for all that I have accomplished over the course of the last two years. =) To be honest, I need to write here more often to hold me accountable for my actions, etc. I think this is the longest that I've gone without an update. I admit that there was a time within the last month...when I just mentally/physically "gave up" because I was busy with work that I didn't have "time" to workout...poor excuse and now, I am paying for it with the 4 pound gain. However, I have been consistent within the last few weeks about working out at least once a day...I missed one day last week because I wasn't feeling well. Next week, I'm going to put myself on a strict eating schedule...not too sure what's that is going to be yet. No worries...it'll be healthy. I've been craving all thins wheat related and have given in on a few occasions, but my skin suffers...due to the allergy.

Anyhow, I'm beginning to not like the following question: "Wow, have you lost weight?". I usually respond with, "Yes, I have thank you." I know it's the PC way of doing things rather than saying, "Wow...you've lost a lot of weight!". In my mind, it's pretty obvious that I have lost weight and it wasn't a fat suit that I can just take on and off whenever I want to. I wish it were that easy. Sorry...just a digression. =) I ran into a former college on Friday and he didn't recognize me and told me that I looked great. I really don't see myself all that different, because I have grown used to see myself the way that I am and I, sometimes, I have hard time seeing my fatter self. Well, believing that that person behind the 100 + pounds is/was me. I do see myself as a healthier, active, and strong individual. So two years later, I was hoping to be under 200 pounds, not 31 pounds away from 200. I was hoping to be at a point physically where I was super toned like Serena Williams...2009 will have a super toned body to compete. I was hoping to be at a point that I'm ready to run a 5k. I ran for the first time this morning in a few weeks and it was tough. I was hoping to be at a point where I can finally wear a size 10 skirt from J.Crew to celebrate. However, I am going to celebrate that I've been able to keep most of the weight off...even though I've had small gains here and there. I am going to celebrate that I'm wearing a size 12/14 depending on the cut/style, dresses size 14, Gap pants size 16 (which is hard for me to conceive), shirts M-L (depending), bras size 38 DD...20 more pounds 35DD. Two years ago, I was barely fitting into a size 24/26 and my bra size was 44DDD and they still didn't fit right. I didn't wear jeans/pants because they just didn't fit...it was easier to squeeze into a skirt. Shirts were anywhere between an 1XL-3XL depending on the cut. Its funny I wore one of my XL DMB t-shirts to the gym a few days ago because I needed a t-shirt to wear and I was literally swimming in it. I had to chuckle because that used a t-shirt that I would wear a lot and it was tight. Even with shoes, I am able to wear more "stylish" shoes and tights/hosiery that's not just black, blue, and brown. I purchased a pair of Hue Opaque Tights with a funky pattern size M/L and had no problems with getting them on. Still looking for that killer pair of boots!

So here's my new and final goal for 2008...I would like to be @ 210 by the time I get on the plane for Paris in December, on January 21 under 200 pounds, by the June 21st @ around 165, and for my 3rd year celebration @ 150 and solid. I can do it! Yes, I have said that before, but I have a new motivation for myself. Happy Losing!

=)

i'm alive...

2008-09-29T21:25:00.002+09:00

just a quick update because i am about to fall asleep...

I'm doing OK. I didn't weigh myself this month because i was in Okinawa for a conference. I had such a wonderful time! So I decided to wait until October 21st. Last week, with a friend/former colleague who was transferred to Okinawa, and I hit the gym every morning and did body pump, step aerobics, and strength training. I had SO much fun taking the various classes. They don't offer the same classes here which is too bad because I liked the variety in the morning. I haven't been too focused on strength training, but I'll get my mojo back! I miss Okinawa...I felt better about myself there...I felt healthier. Here I feel heavy because I'm dealing with school stuff, trying to get my car fixed, homecoming, people jumping down my throat. etc. One way to let the stress go is by exercising, but it's not working 100% for me at the moment. I just need to get away again...I know its an emotional thing.

That purple dress that I've been eyeing from J.Crew was on sale...so I put it i my basket to "think about it" and it's back to its normal price. =( I guess I'll have to wait for a few weeks. Ok, I am really drifting right now... good night.

I was able to put these on today....

2008-09-12T05:39:00.004+09:00

a pair of Eileen Fisher jeans size 14/16...a bit loose in the waist. Sweet! I know that I haven't blogged in awhile, but I'm still focused and determined. Although my workout routine is out-of-sync... *sigh*

ugh! 5 pound weight gain... ouch

2008-08-22T06:18:00.002+09:00

At least school is starting back up and I'll be well into my routine. =) I'm not worried about the 5 pounds even though it seems like a lot. I think a pound or two is actual muscle gain (and the rest is fat/water gain) since that's what I've been really focusing on. The P90X program is fine...I really need to work on push ups because the program requires a variety of them...I just never knew. My eating has been good for the most part, not eating as much as I should but I have been getting my daily fruits and veggie in take. Been busy with trying to get my classroom ready for the new year esp. since I had to switch classroom this year. Also, I've been drinking a lot of juice and not enough water...that will change once school starts next week. On a more positive note, a few of my colleagues came up to me and told me that I have "inspired" them to start exercising. I know that taking care of myself will be number one this year.

Also, some sad news. LeRoi Moore the sax player of the Dave Matthews Band passes away a few days ago. I'm still not too sure if it really happened, but I know it did. May he R.I.P. =(

sticking to the routine...

2008-08-20T04:34:00.002+09:00

I'm back in Japan. I have a feeling that this year or next will be my last year here...it's time to move on. Anyhow, I've been working out each day since I've been back. Nothing too rigorous yet, but that's coming. I've been doing to Wii Fit, the P90X (which is fine for @ home resistance training), and walking. I plan to step it up a bit next week when school starts. Also, I'm putting myself first this year and work will come in second. I know that it's easier said and done, but that's my goal.

I would like to run, but it's been so warm/humid outside...so I'll have to wait until it cools down a bit since I don't run on treadmills. lol

summer has come to an end...

2008-08-14T00:34:00.003+09:00

at least now, I will be on a regular and consistent workout regime. I'm sad that my summer is coming to an end because I have had a really good summer! I head back to Japan tomorrow. I'm looking forward to heading back, however, I'm not looking forward to going back to work. I really don't want to work anymore, but someone has to pay the bills. I just feel as if there is more for me out there.

My goals for the remainder of 2008:

1) not eat meat (if was hard to stick to this in the states esp. @ home)
2) finally get under 200 pounds
3) really focus on building muscle
4) to improve on my mile run time
5) to get my nails done once every two weeks
6) to really focus on working on myself (outer and inner)
7) to start a mini-herb garden in my backyard
8) to experiment with baking non-soy, non-wheat, non-dairy, non-egg treats
9) to put myself out there and meet new people (I can be a homebody @ times)
10) to enjoy life...

I heart this dress...

2008-08-09T13:42:00.003+09:00

but I am NOT going to pay $180.00 for it!
---
Anyhow, I had an allergic reaction to soy milk this afternoon. =( I decided since it's a nice day and I just started reading "Shoe Addicts Anonymous" by Beth Harbison that I would "treat" myself to a coffee drink. I haven't had "coffee" in eons. I just wanted to sit outside with a nice cool drink and read. I asked the barista if they had rice milk and he said yes. I made sure and told him that I couldn't have soy due to an allergy. He assured me that they had rice milk. Apparently, the person making the drink didn't get the message or something because I had a reaction after a few sips. I didn't have to use my epipen (thank god!), but my breathing got really, really labored and I started to get itchy, etc. So I popped some benedryl, took puffs from my inhaler, and sat there for about 20 minutes until my breathing got better. The dumbass making the drink thought he meant soy milk. Ok, how does one get confused?! I didn't make a scene. I just went back to the counter and said that they gave me soy milk instead of rice milk because I was having an allergic reaction. They apologized for the mistake and gave me my money back...and wanted to know if I wanted them to make my drink over. I'm bummed because I was supposed to go out this evening to a jazz club, but I have a headache, my skin is splotchy, and I just don't have the energy.

I'm off to bed...

got all caught up in the QVC informercial...

2008-08-07T18:58:00.004+09:00

and ended up ordering P90X (which is the Beach Body Power 90 dvd series with a new name to make it sound really cool). I am/have been a loyal TaeBo enthusiast...so we'll see if this measures up. Oh well, at least I can return the workout system/dvds within 30 days if I find that I am not using it (according to QVC).

I haven't been running lately and I can tell. Need to start back up again. I've been ok about my workouts, they've been lack luster, but I've been going. However, I have been walking a lot around the various parks...even when I'm at the store/mall. I'll walk "extra" laps.

My road trip was great! We ate fairly healthy on the road...thanks to whole foods and various other health food stores. I did, however, indulge in some french fries in San Francisco. It's all about moderation. Although, we spent a lot of time in the car...we walked at least 3 miles each day...seeing the sites, etc. Heck, I think I may have even lost a few pounds. lol

My goal for the next nine months (school year), is to focus on toning and weight lifting. Although I still have a lot of weight to lose, I want to be strong and buff (not a gross buff, but super, super toned buff). The weight will naturally come off during weight training. Which is part of the reason why I was impulsive this evening and ordered the DVDs. I got this silly idea that I may want to compete in weight lifting. (I heard a story on NPR about a judge in her 50s who started weight training and ended up competing and becoming a national champion. However, I don't want to look all vainy and manish...like many female body builders. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it can be done if I stay focused.

This dress that I have been eyeing on jcrew.com FINALLY went on sale. I have a feeling that it's going to be tight, but in a few months...I should be able to where it comfortably. I've been buying clothes that fit, but are a bit snug so I can continue to enjoy wearing them during this transformation. Instead of buying clothes that fit just right and/or are a tad bit too big. At the beginning of the summer, I purchased a dress that fit, but was a bit loose at the top...now it's too big and I only wore it a few times. Oh well...I'll have to get it altered because it's figure flattering and cute. I've kept my clothes shopping to a minimal this summer for that very reason. I'm just looking for a pair of comfy everyday, but stylish shoes with a heel. I'm trying to stay away from the Dansko clog. Don't get me wrong, I love Dansko, but it's time for change. Well, it's late and I have to get up in a few hours.

I stepped inside a micky d's today...

2008-07-31T15:25:00.002+09:00

only to use the bathroom. I've been on the road for the last few days and it has been great. My eating has been good...haven't strayed. My only concern is that I haven't been working out. However, I did tell my road trip buddy that we're going to the gym on Friday. I've been good about finding whole food grocers in the area and purchasing goodies like fruit, etc. Well, i'm getting sleepy...

I still lost 3 pounds....considering

2008-07-25T11:47:00.005+09:00

I ate extremely well during my stay in Tucson. My friend, Tim (TM), cooked for me (he loves, loves, loves to cook and I helped out) and 98% of what we ate was either homemade and organic produce from his garden, etc. His garden was the most gorgeous thing that I have EVER seen, he had all types of herbs, veggies, etc. Heck, I was eating raisins right from the vine and had some fresh chocolate mint. Unfortunately, the monsoon destroyed it and he's in a funk. I feel bad because I wish I was there to help him replant, etc. =( It was interesting seeing him again after all these years. We talked about perusing something and the ball is in his court. If he wants me to move to Tucson, he has to say the magic words instead of alluding to it. We're a good team and it was nice being part of a "couple" last week. On the other hand, I did read he's not that into you so...who knows?! As for my "new look", he said that I looked "great", but I looked "great" when we first met. Personally, I think he was being nice when he said that. My self-esteem is kind of shot right now.

My workouts were kept to a minimum last week (not on purpose...I did do "housework" type of stuff, walked the dog, etc). Today, was the first day in which I got in a really good workout and my muscles are thanking me for it. It seems as if I've been sitting on my butt the entire time...so when I stepped on the scale this morning I was surprised with the 3 pound lost. So now, I am 223!

Well, I am officially 35...5 years away from turning 40! Tim's brother thought I was between 19-25 years old. He's kind and was trying to win some brownie points with me. Those Miller boys are sure charmers. lol

I leave early tomorrow morning for my road trip to the bay area. Yeap, another week of inactivity, but I'll be alright.

Before I forget, I got a body scrub yesterday and I still have a lot of "loose skin" according to the scrubber. She was telling me that she could feel the toned muscle, but it was buried under my loose skin. So I still have a lot of work ahead of me...

I heart the Arc Trainer and...

2008-07-15T03:35:00.004+09:00

...walking to the gym. I doubt if I reach my end of the summer weight goal, but at least I'll be physically stronger. That's all...

joining a new gym...

2008-07-12T04:10:00.002+09:00

As much as I like the new LA Fitness facilities (not necessarily the corporation), I've realized that it's just "too far" for me to drive. I would rather walk to the gym because it only makes sense in "my mind". I feel as if I am not walking enough even though I go on daily walks, etc. I feel as if I'm in my car a lot. So I was thinking it really doesn't make sense for me to drive to/from the gym. The original location of LA Fitness was about a five minute drive away, but now they are a lot further away about a 10-15 minutes depending on traffic. It would be different if I were coming home from work and/or I worked near there, but I don't. Anyhow, I forgot that the hospital near my "part-time" home has a fitness center. So I checked them out today and decided to join. It's okay and a lot of their equipment is "dated", BUT they do have an ARC TRAINER, it's a five minute walk away and I can freeze my account for 6 months at a time. Did I mention they have an ARC TRAINER?!? The gym mostly caters to "older" individuals, but that's not a big deal. As long as I can keep up my gym fitness routine...I'm good.

did i really look that awful?!

2008-07-03T15:16:00.003+09:00

Today, I attend the graduation ceremony for my last LTer (aka student in my original LT @ Truman before I left for Japan) at my former school in the states. Last year, I attended the ceremony about 80 pounds lighter from the year before and this year I was about 40 pounds lighter from last year and I'm hoping next year I am 60 pounds lighter. I didn't want any of the focus on me because it's about the graduates, etc. But all I heard tonight was "how pretty and beautiful" I was and that I "looked great", etc. Only one person said, that I looked "happy, healthy, and strong". I know that people mean well and that they didn't mean anything malicious by saying what they said. (Yes, I've talked about these issues before.) But I know that I look much, much better (well, happier) than I did a few years ago and even last year, but did I really look that awful before? I've always tried to look presentable in the past. Even the kids were saying the same thing as well. I wasn't dressed to the nines, I just wore a simple blue polk-a-dot dress (that I am going to have to donate because it doesn't fit right anymore) that I really like wearing and I had my hair down in the back (which has grown a lot because I keep it up 99% of the time) and I didn't bother putting on make up, etc...I just looked like plain 'ol alethea. I guess I should be flattered with the compliments and I'm learning to accept them, but part of me wonders are they saying that because I am smaller or am I sending off the radiant glow? (lol)

My new summer delight is Blood Orange Sobert. Oh my! Oh my! Quite organismic! My taste bugs love it! I don't miss ice cream anymore. Also, the entire pint is 360 calories. No worries, I only had 3 tablespoons because I am going to savor, savor this sobert. I still have a half of pint of the blackberry sobert left. =)

world of clothing...

2008-06-30T02:04:00.005+09:00

I'm not much of a shopper, unless I am trying to find something...then I'll go from store to store to try to find whatever it is that I am looking for. A few days ago when I was showing a colleague around Seattle, I purchased a nice jacket from Ann Taylor...I didn't think that I could wear it because I still see myself as a "big" girl and I am, but not someone who can wear certain clothes. My colleague told me that I was smaller than I think I am (not buying it because I'm still in the Obese category). So I decided to try the jacket on and surprise it fit. It looked really good on me! It was then I realized that my world of clothing was starting to opened up. At least going shopping in the mall in person and walking into any store and being able to try something on without the embarrassment of knowing good and well that it won't fit. I can now, go into a store like J.Crew, try on a dress/skirt (either size 14 or 16...depending on the cut) and it works. I did order a dress from J.Crew and I plan to wear it when I'm in Tucson in a few weeks. My hips/legs will always be a problem because I am so bottom heavy, but I like prefer having a pear shaped figure. I like having a small waist, etc.

So I am in the bay area for the weekend (my postponed NYE trip). Yesterday, I spent part of my day roaming around the mall with a few friends, and it hit me again that I can now wear most clothes in most store. However, Benetton only goes up to a size 10 (at least the store in SF does), but I can still wear their tops, etc. I remember at one point I used to buy expensive hand bags, etc...just to feel better about myself because I couldn't wear certain things. Don't get me wrong, I still like my Coach handbags (only when they're on sale, etc). =) It's just hard to explain...

I also find it funny that my friend, IG, who I haven't seen in a long time thinks I'm "skinny" now. Last time I saw him (2004), I was probably around 300 pounds or so...just 80 pounds or so lighter and I'm still in the 200s. In my mind, I'm not and I'm not. What is skinny anyway? Is it a number. To be honest, I don't want to be "skinny"...I was to have a toned slender body which embraces my curves. Enough for now...

running just as fast as i can...

2008-06-27T03:46:00.004+09:00

I haven't given up on my goals because I haven't posted in awhile. I've just been "lazy" about updating. I weighed myself before I left to head back to the states on 6/21 and I'm at 226! Yippee! I've been fluctuating between 229-225 (via wii fit). However, I am 27 pounds away from my under 200 goal. It has been forever since I've been in the 220s let alone the 210 and 200s. I'm thinking freshman year in college or something.

Last night, I hung out with my friend, Chani, and she was telling me that a former colleague of ours has lost about 40 pounds because I had given her the courage to do so. It's funny because I saw this person a few months ago and we chatted about weight and she did look "smaller", but I don't like asking people if they have lost weight, etc. Chani goes on to tell me that I was this person's motivation, etc. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed at Yokota. I would probably be closer to 400 pounds and still eating. I can't even imagine. Its hard to explain, but things do happen for a reason. I needed to be transferred. I needed that change. I needed to see my fat butt on AFN. I was in such denial. I may have made some strides if I had stayed in the states. I don't know but I was making some small strides. I was looking at myself and sometimes I see it and sometimes I don't. I chatted with a friend via iChat last week and he was telling me that I looked "thin". Personally, I don't see it because I see myself daily. I'm still about 80 pounds from being "thin", but I don't want to look like Kristen Johnson. I can't imagine myself that thin. Plus, I like my curves.

I've been running (well, jogging) a lot lately. I'm starting to grow really fond of running. Never in a million years!! Not to mention that my legs are starting to slowly take on a different shape. I find it difficult for the first few minutes then my body gets used to it and next thing you know it 30 minutes have gone by. I'm also alternating my wii fit/dvd (Taebo) with my gym workouts. I've been going to the gym every other day to lift weights. I've also included 15 minutes on the StairMaster as part of my warm up. It's funny because yesterday, this woman kept on looking at the screen on my treadmill. I was at an incline of 10.5 and walking about 5 mpr. Nothing special, but I only walked for about 15 minutes or so. I noticed that she increased her speed. And I am sure she was thinking "she only stayed on for 15 minutes". It was just my warm up before I hit the weights. I think it it really came down to it, I would probably kick her butt on the treadmill.

Being back in the states has been interesting, we are such a non-walking society. I really want to live in a community in which I don't have to drive my car to go to the store, etc. Eating wise, I haven't had ANY fast food what-so-ever. I have had some meat (organic/free-range/grass feed) chicken since I've been home. Only because my mom is "concerned" with my eating habits. Which are a lot healthier than eating a bunch of processed microwavable crap (a lot rice). I keep telling her that she doens't have to make dinner, but yo know how moms are. So I decided to make dinner last night and everyone liked it. It wasn't too complicated. She when she wants to know what I eat. She can see that I actually eat well. I just need to cook for myself to prevent issues. When I go to the grocery stores I am bombarded with all the junk food. It's crazy!

I'm going to Tucson in a few weeks for a conference and I'm staying with an ex-beau. I'm looking forward to hanging out with him and he's been really nice about letting me crash at his place for a week. I'm also nervous because last time he saw me, I was over 300 pounds. He doesn't know that I've slimmed down quite a bit, etc. Not that's an issue, because he has always accepted me for me. I'm nervous about not getting in my daily workouts and the eating situation because he loves to cook. I can enjoy looking at good food that I can't eat anymore.

Oh, before I forget! Move over ice cream, I have discovered ciao bella sorbet (gelato). I was roaming around PCC a few days ago, and picked up two pints: blackberry and raspberry. Unfortunately, the Blackberry has corn syrup (but it should be OK if I consume in moderation) and the Raspberry is "all natural" for the most part. I have never tasted anything better in the states. Also, in Japan there is a Haagen Dazs Sore Apple Sobet that I discovered before I left. Good stuff. Less calories and better for you in the long run!

me...a role model?

2008-06-16T21:13:00.002+09:00

Went out to lunch with a few of my colleagues a few days ago, and they were telling me that I was an inspiration to them. I thought that was really nice, however, I haven't really done anything special (in my mind). I'm just trying to live a healthy life...that's all. I called United to request my "special meal" and basically I'm getting the fruit plate for all of my meals. I wanted the Hindu special meal because it's one of the only meals that I could have...just can't eat the tufo. But I made the mistake of asking for a Hindu special meal without the tufo/soy...that's why I'm getting the "fruit plate". The agent was really helpful and nice. Which is fine...I just hope it isn't just melon and cantaloupe.

Well, I have to get up early in the morning for my gym workout. I'm still working out via the Wii Fit. =)

i had a piece of meat yesterday... =(

2008-06-08T07:56:00.003+09:00

I went out with my friend, Sumiy (and company), yesterday I didn't tell her that I had a bunch of food allergies because I didn't want her to pick a restaurant to suit just my needs. Anyhow, so we get to the place and someone had Krispy Kreme donuts (oh god, they looked SO good...star shaped creme filled in celebration of some Japanese holiday), but I politely declined and said that I was allergic to to some of the ingredients. I pulled out my list and told her that I couldn't have the items listed, but I'm used to going places and being limited to what I can have, etc. So she asked about chicken...due to the communication issue...she ended up ordering chicken for the table...mostly for me because I couldn't eat anything else on the table (I wanted too though). So I felt bad and had a small piece of chicken. l also had spinach dish with tiny pieces of bacon and reminded myself that I needed to saute spinach more. Yummy! So I had meat yesterday....only one hiccup. I shouldn't be so hard, because I've been really good so far...3 weeks without meat. But last night's situation was different, it was the polite thing to do.

Sad news: I'm up 1.3 pond from yesterday. Not too sure why? I did my Wii workout and walked, walked, walked, etc. My eating wasn't out of control. However, I did have half of drink (lime sour). I'm guessing that it might be water weight gain because I was downing water like there was no tomorrow. Oh well...at least I'm still in the 220s. =)

ten pounds down...

2008-06-06T06:14:00.002+09:00

I'm 10 pounds down since I've added the Wii Fit to my workout routine! =) I did Super Hoop Hula for 20 minutes this morning...that's not easy for keep up that particular motion for 10 minutes on each side. My legs are burning right now. A few more times I'll be used to it though. =)

i'm making this for dinner tonight...just need to find the artichokes

2008-06-05T04:30:00.009+09:00

June 4, 2008

The MINIMALIST: For the Artichoke, Some New Helpers

By Mark Bittman

A LESSON I learned this spring: if you have artichokes in your kitchen, you will find new ways to cook them.

While traveling throughout Western Europe intermittently since February, I saw them eaten raw, braised, sautéed and fried, served solo or with lamb, shrimp, octopus or pasta. And I internalized, as I never had before, that artichokes are not a precious ingredient but a regular vegetable and can be treated as such.

In a way they remind me of lobster: they’re so great steamed, with lemon or butter, that you forget that it’s easy enough to take them a step or two further.

On my extended periods at home, I bought artichokes whenever I saw decent ones. It didn’t hurt that they don’t seem too expensive this year.

I began not only duplicating beloved recipes from past years, a seasonal ritual with many of my favorite ingredients, but also improvising with them.

The best consequence of all that was this quick sauté, in which as I was trimming my artichokes I began piling them, cut side down, into a pan filmed with hot oil.

(I’m not a big fan of soaking artichokes in acidulated water to keep them green, for three reasons: one, it’s a hassle; two, it doesn’t work that well unless you make the water so acidic that it changes the taste; and three, I don’t mind olive-green artichokes.)

With them, I cooked garlic, tomatoes and olives — I used oil-cured, but any good olives will do. It’s a simple and obvious enough combination, but a fabulous one as well.

The dish is a bit easier when made with little artichokes (or baby ones; they’re not exactly the same), whose chokes are either nonexistent or small enough to ignore, and which can therefore be prepped a little bit faster than their larger cousins.

You can deal with them at the rate of about one per minute, so a dozen or so doesn’t take much more than 10 minutes. (Details for trimming are in the recipe below.)

But if you can’t find the little ones, trimming the big ones (cut them in half lengthwise to remove the choke) doesn’t require much more time.

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That's how I usually cook, trial and error by "throwing" things together! Ok, I need to work out before I ge ready for work. I obviously didn't go to the gym this morning! =)

the lady in red...

2008-06-04T20:18:00.005+09:00

I purchased this dress about 4-5 years ago. It was super, super, super tight when I first tried it on (size XL from Target). I've used it as a motivator in the past and it didn't really work because I was still in denial about my weight. I've always liked the cut and look. So I kept it hoping that one day, I will squeeze my fat ass into it. This morning, I didn't really want to wear what I had originally laid out and decided what the heck, I'll try it on. No only did it fit, it's slightly too big, but flattering. I also wore a pair of black flats (which were so comfortable) which is something that I almost never do. Not to toot my own horn, but I looked really good today and some of my colleagues would have agreed because I received a lot of compliments.

I lost another 0.9 pounds according to my body test. I'm slowing inching my way out of the "Obese category. I've also decided that I need to weigh myself everyday in order to stay on track and motivated. It has made a difference because I can chart and see the change although I may not be able to see it "right away". =)

I'll post pictures in a few days because I'm being lazy about stuff like that.

a huge let down...

2008-06-02T19:54:00.003+09:00

...I went to the gym after work very much looking forward to my Zumba class...only to find out that the instructor is on vacation and won't be back until mid-July. =( So what's a girl to do...I rowed my sorrows away for about 20 minutes and them I worked all of my muscles by weight training. I was the only girl (I should say woman) with a bunch of Navy guys. I didn't let them get in the way. I just did what I had to do. I was looking at my arms...even though I still have wings...they are toning up very nicely.

lost another 1.8 pounds...

2008-06-02T06:03:00.004+09:00

Yesterday, I worked out at the gym doing weights, rower for about 10 minutes, and walked on the treadmill for a mile. Came home and did various Wii exercises. I ran for 20 minutes non-stop and did the step workout for another 20 minutes. I can see how running can really speed up weight loss and build up leg muscles. I have never ran for 20 minutes straight without stopping at least once, but I did it despite being a slow runner! It got easier as I went along, I think my body just needed to get used to it. Anyhow, the true testament will come on June 21st. My body is getting used to not eating meat and working out differently. So right now, it's dropping, but I have a feeling it might slow down a bit, which is good! As of right now, I'm steadily in the 220s. =)

I'm feeling much better...

2008-06-01T06:39:00.002+09:00

and today is supposed to be a beautiful day! I did my body test this morning and I'm down 0.7 pounds. My appetite is slowly coming back...which is a good. Last night, I made a tomato stir fry with all fresh ingredients: tomatoes, basil, garlic, carrots, peas, peppers (yellow, orange, green, and red), onions, spanish, etc. I had a good workout yesterday.

another 1.5 lost...

2008-05-31T05:03:00.002+09:00

...according to my Wii Fit body test this morning. Disclaimer: I am sick, so I wouldn't be surprised if my numbers start to slowly go up, but I am going to enjoy finally being in the 220s.=) Let's hope I can keep this up for 21 more days...

i lost 1.8 pounds since Tuesday...

2008-05-30T16:59:00.002+09:00

...according to the Wii Fit. Go me! It'll be interesting to see if I can keep this up. I believe the change in my eating habits helped since I'm mostly eating fruits and veggies and drinking only water. However, today I purchased a bottle of Odwella's C Monster because I am not feeling well and needed something of nutritious value in my system besides the banana I had for lunch. Not intentional...my throat is so sore and I don't really have an appetite. But I only drank half of the bottle. I'm in the process of boiling water to drink to help me nurse this cold or whatever it is that my body is trying to fend off. I didn't workout this morning because I just couldn't get myself out of bed, but I had to go to work for field day (which turned out to be successful!). Tomorrow, I'll workout longer and harder. I am so tired and drowsy right now...so I'm going to take my hot water and climb into bed.

i actually give the wii fit...

2008-05-28T20:38:00.002+09:00

4 stars out of 5...

I've unlocked some more "advanced" games like...Super Hula Hoop, Island Distance Run (basically a mile run in 10 minutes), and free step. Also, once you've played a game a few times...you don't have to do the tutorials again. Today, I was sore for playing it yesterday; however, it could have been Taebo and/or walking. =)

Wii Fit...

2008-05-27T19:28:00.004+09:00

It arrived today! I played around with it for about 2 hours, but only "workout" for an hour. I did break a sweat...during the running and hula workouts. My balance sucks. It did record my weight, BMI, and fitness age. It's pretty accurate give and take a few pounds and percentage points. Yes, I am obese according to their measurements and it added pounds to my Mii. I kid you not...my mii got heavier after my initial weigh in. No biggee because I am still obese. =) Here's my complaint. I wish the workouts were longer and that they didn't spend so much time with the tutorials...maybe it's just in the beginning. Overall, it's a nice get your body moving alternative. It's good for people who just want to have a bit of fun and to do something new, but it's not necessarily designed for the athletic marathon runner...maybe as a short term keep track of your fitness level. What I do like...it tracks your progress/stats and allows you to set realistic goals. I give the Wii Fit 3.75 stars out of 5. =)

day three...

2008-05-25T12:40:00.005+09:00

I didn't think not eating meat would be this difficult. In the past, I just choose not to eat it on a regular bases, but it was always there when I wanted it. Yesterday, a few friends and I went to TGIF's (I am so tired of that place). Anyhow, just looking at the menu I wanted meat (and lots of it)...just because it looked good. My friend ordered a bacon cheese burger and the bacon smelled delicious. But I was good, I can only have chicken and veggies at TGIF anyhow. So I ended up ordering broccoli and a small dinner salad. It was ok...

I went to Uni Qlo and purchased a few shirts and a dress. Uni Qlo is similar to Old Navy. Anyhow, I purchased a lounge dress (a Japanese size XL) and I would wear it...it's a bite snug in the hip area but it's prefect for lounging the house in.

I've been pretty good about working out/walking. Yesterday, I ended up walking home from the train station in the rain (it was a downpour). Despite my bag tearing because it was wet, I really enjoyed that walk home last night. =)

I purchased a new pair of glasses yesterday (see above). I love, love them! They are funky and cute and I could never find a pair like this in the states. Not only that, but when I was heavier I would have never even considered wearing glasses like this pair because they would have drawn attention to me. Its funny because the pair below I got last summer and was concerned because I though the color was bright because I've always stuck with tortious shell frames. Today, I have selected a bright red with an orange outline/accents to wear. I also found a funky red pair that I liked a lot, if they still have them in a week, I'll pick them up. =)

oprah copied me....

2008-05-23T18:35:00.004+09:00

... just for 21 days though. =)

Click here to find out...

the only difference is that she has a cook who will cook for her whereas I actually have to read the labels and all that good stuff. also, she can enjoy tufo/soy whereas I can't. Im really proud of the change that I have made. I may have to cut sugar from my diet as well which will be easy. The chocolate that I eat doesn't have any sugar...so it might be easier. I'll just ween myself off of sugar slowly which will be juice (odwalla and kagome).

By the way...her dinner, "Asparagus "cream" soup, portobello mushrooms, white beans and spinach and sweet potato chips." Sounds devine! Not too sure about the cream.

So I have my Japanese Ladies Party on June 7th. Sumiy doesn't know about my food allergies. Should be an interesting time. I don't want to tell her because I don't want her to pick a place that would only cater to me...thus limiting what the other ladies can have. I may tell her the basics or bring my own dinner. Who knows?! I'll think of something... =)

As I digress, here's an interesting article that I read the the new york times about ways to cook/eat your veggies:

Finding the Best Way to Cook Your Vegetables

becoming a vegetarian...

2008-05-22T17:56:00.003+09:00

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and decided that I am going to not consume meat anymore. Mostly because I'm not really eating meat...I'm eating corn. However, the meat in Japan taste quite different from the meat in the states. It's has more flavor and is tender. I'm not the only one who thinks so. My only concern is not getting enough protein and iron, but I'll work something out. My diet is mostly veggie and whole food and grain based....so I'm going to take it a step further.

Also, I'm going to try not to eat anything that has corn products in it besides actual corn on the cob. I watched the documentary King Corn and I never realized how many products we consume that has "corn". It's crazy.

“If you’re standing in a field in Iowa, there’s an immense amount of food being grown, none of it edible. The commodity corn, nobody can eat. It must be processed before we can eat it. It’s a raw material—it’s a feedstock for all these other processes. And the irony is that an Iowa farmer can no longer feed himself.”
—Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore's Dilemma

ugh! I can't seem to get out of the 230s... =(

2008-05-22T06:04:00.002+09:00

I weighed in @ 231. It's a loss and I'm happy, but I'm stuck in the 230s. I've changed up my workout routine...I'm working out harder (resistance, speed, etc) and my eating habits are the same...maybe I need to eat more. Who knows!? I'm happy with the loss even if it's only 4 pounds. I just want to be in the 220s already. lol I changed my mini-goals to reflect my weigh in this month. =)

stormy weather..

2008-05-20T19:23:00.003+09:00

the weather outside this morning was frightful and I still got in a good workout...even if it was for an hour. I did intervals...started out on the treadmill, weights (legs), elliptical trainer, weights (arms), rower, and weights (legs). Anyhow, tomorrow, it's all about the treadmill and Zumba!

all dressed up...

2008-05-18T08:51:00.005+09:00

for the 2008 Midnight Masquerade (prom). As you can see, I can dress up quite nicely. It's funny because most of the kiddies didn't recognize me (hair down and no glasses). I had a pair of cute heels that I was going to wear, but I didn't feel like breaking them in last night...so I opted for a more comfortable pair. My size 16 dress is from Target. I've come a long way, but still has a way to go. =)

In recent days, I've been focused on walking as my main workout and I'm noticing a settle difference. Even when I walk around my neighborhood I challenge myself by setting small goals, etc. My goal is to walk a mile in under 10 minutes by the end of the summer. I'm walking at a 7.0 incline at 3.8 mpr (which isn't all that great) and averaging 16.11 mpr. =( Anyhow, I have some work ahead of me. Each month I'm going to switch things up because my body gets used to my daily workouts and that's when I start to plateau.

You on a Diet DVD

2008-05-12T19:47:00.003+09:00

I checked this out from the library and watched it this evening. Quite interesting. I didn't know that walking changes your genes. I know that walking is good for you, but I didn't think that it would reformat your genes. Also, I need to start measuring myself at least once a week...better indicator of weight loss. I did last year for awhile, the stopped. One thing that I loved that he kept on saying is that you're only suppose to lose a pound or two a week. I loved the U-turn analogy...which I will be using if I need to "go back". Their plan seemed to be realistic and practical. Stuff that I am already doing.

It bothers me when people compare their weight loss to "The Biggest Loser" and then get frustrated because they aren't dropping 15 pounds a week. It's supposed to be gradual. Plus, they are contestants on a game show and will practically do whatever it takes to loose the weight. I believe that's why I've been successful...I've changed my mindset. I wore a pair of pajama bottoms to schoo for spirit week. I recall wearing them last sometime in 2002, when they were tight...I was swimming in them today. lol I still have a ways to go...

I wonder if the slender shaper really works?! Just kidding!

zumba...

2008-05-08T05:29:00.001+09:00

is a lot of FUN! =)

dinner tonight from dr. weil...

2008-05-03T05:39:00.001+09:00

I'm going to use olive oil instead of canola oil.
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Curried Greens

6 Servings
When people hear the word "greens," I think they immediately conjure up childhood memories of overcooked lumps of vegetation they were forced to eat and hated. But the vegetable section of the grocery is a different world today, brimming with a variety of greens such as spinach, chard, kale, mustard, collards, and bok choy that are tasty as well as excellent sources of vitamins and minerals. Iron, calcium, and folic acid (an important B vitamin that helps prevent birth defects and offers protection from heart disease) are abundant in these leafy veggies. Greens can have strong tastes, but I encourage you to experiment with varieties you've never tried or haven't had in a while. I believe you'll be in for a pleasant surprise.

Ingredients:
1 pound spinach, kale, collards, or beet greens (or mixture of all)
2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
2-3 tablespoons curry powder
1 cup finely chopped tomatoes (fresh or canned)
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon dark-brown sugar
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 cup onion, finely diced
3/4 pound brown potatoes, peeled and cubed
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (optional)

Instructions:
1. Wash and drain greens, removing any coarse stems and midribs. Cut into half-inch strips.

2. In a small bowl, mix together garlic, curry powder, tomatoes, tomato paste, and sugar.

3. Heat the canola oil in a skillet and sauté onion over medium-high heat until it begins to brown. Add the spice-and-tomato mixture, mix well, and cook for a few minutes.

4. Add the potatoes and 2 cups water.

5. Mix well, bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and cook for 10 minutes.

6. Add greens and cook for 10 minutes more, or until potatoes are done.

7. Correct seasoning to taste. Garnish with the chopped fresh cilantro if desired.

Nutritional Information:

Per serving:
103 calories
3 g total fat (0 g sat)
0 mg cholesterol
19 g carbohydrate
4 g protein
4 g fiber
250 mg sodium

Always Remember...

2008-05-02T21:56:00.002+09:00

Good morning. Pamper yourself! Be good to you! If you want to be treated correctly you must first treat yourself correctly!! (Remember this!) The way you treat yourself tells other people how to treat you! BE GOOD TO YOU! :-)

God is Love
Rev Run

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I did manage to get in a pretty good work out after work today.

darn it...

2008-05-02T05:02:00.002+09:00

i just WOKE UP five minutes ago...so, I didn't make it to the gym this morning. However, I'll do the 8 minute TaeBo workout. =(

once a fat girl always a fat girl...

2008-04-30T20:15:00.002+09:00

I don't think I will EVER see myself as a "skinny girl"...just some food for thought.

Anyhow, I've been pretty good about getting my butt up and working out in the morning for about an hour. I wanted to do weights after cardio, but the weight room was so crowded at 5:30 this morning. I told myself that I would go after my CIF training this afternoon, but I went back to my room and took a nap.

So today, I popped a button off my blouse...my breasts feel like they're increased a cup size. Seriously, I have worn this blouse a few time prior without any issues...until today. Maybe it's that "time" because I feel really, really bloated as if I am retaining a lot of water and/or I'm gaining weight which shouldn't be the case because my weight is still at 235. It's funny how the body works.

Yet, another dull and uneventful post. However, my Gap jeans I purchased a few months ago are too big for me. I need to invest in a good belt.

it was 3am...

2008-04-28T05:32:00.002+09:00

and I got out of bed and went to the gym. Well, at 3:35am is when I actually left my house because I was trying to get stuff together. Just got back. It was weird being the ONLY person (besides the two employees downstairs) working out. Even in the states, when I managed to get up early...there was always at least three others there working out. Anyhow, I had the gym all to myself for about 30 minutes or so. Now, I have to get read for work. Great way to start off the week.

today was a good day...

2008-04-26T22:17:00.003+09:00

The gym on "the other base" now has tv/dvds hooked up to their cardio equipment! Yippee! Still not as nice as Sarah's gym, but a start. Also, I found out that the Nano (my base gym) will be ordering new cardio equipment within the next few months (or so) and they want requests. With that said, I am going to request an arc trainer and a rower. I hope they consider it because I loved that machine...its hard work which equals a good work out. So well see. They'll probably get more ET and treadmills.

I feel that I am back on track, got up this morning and went to the gym....had a wonderful morning workout as I listened to Live at Pietmont Park. I just felt rejuvenated.

I just got back from hanging out with some friends in Machida! I just had a really good day...

I changed my goals so that they are more realistic for me (see weigh in section). =)

new workout plan of action...

2008-04-24T20:40:00.003+09:00

...because I haven't worked out in TWO days! =( I've decided to go to the gym in the mornings...I've been getting up at 3am anyway. I'll roam around on the internet, play Wii (or do TaeBo), and veg before I get ready for work. I realized that I need to change my workout routine because I'm bored with it. So at 3:30am I'll drive to the gym workout for a 1.5 hours...drive back home and get ready for work. I have to drive to Atsugi because their open 24/7 whereas Zama's gym opens at 5:30 and I don't like to rush in the mornings. =) Also, on Monday/Wednesday I'm signed up to take the Zumba dance class and Tuesday/Thursday I'm signed up for the Flex Balance Ball Class...which will be a good way for me to end my day!

--------
A few months ago, I wrote about one of my students who only eats a piece of fruit a day and how her parents accept that. I, personally, would be a concerned parent. Anyhow, her friend who used to have a healthy appetite and wasn't "fat" at all...she actually had a nice figure has now adapted her friends eating habit. Both were chatting in my seminar class about "how to lose weight, etc" a few days ago about the diet. So my ears perked up just because the one who only eats a piece of fruit a day is super, super skinny...she basically doesn't eat (I can say this after spending a week with her at Far East). I'm concerned because one may have an eating disorder and the other is starting to develop one. It' crazy because she was giving her friend tips on how not to give into "temptations of eating" when she's hungry, which vitamins to take (I guess this could be a good thing), and if she doesn't get hungry...eat a piece of lettuce or a boiled egg, and never ever eat carbs (funny thing, they both were eating their rationed apple). So yesterday during our student council meeting, they were casually talking about "their diet" and a few of the other girls told them that what they were doing was bad on their body and if they wanted to lose weight they should go to the gym and eat three meals a day, blab, blab, blab. One also mentioned that they were doing more damage than good to their bodies...meaning your body will go into starvation mode and when you do eat that tiny piece of chocolate....you'll gain weight. They also mentioned to the one who's developing the problem that she looks good and doesn't need to diet, BUT her friend seems to think otherwise. I have never experience this type of pack before quite interesting.

Stuck @ 235...

2008-04-23T05:34:00.003+09:00

Looks like I am maintaining rather than losing, but that's ok (at the moment)! However, I have to reach my goal of 210 in two months. I need to change up my eating and start eating more or start working out harder...or something.

This summer I am going to spend time with him...well, he wants to spend time with me when I'm in AZ this summer for a conference. Last time, we saw each other was a few years ago when I was much, much heavier! Still he has always accepted me and saw me for me and he doesn't really know that I've lost some weight. When we talk it's not something that I bring up in our conversations...just because I'm not one to say, "I've lost 100 pounds," etc...

So I'm in need of some advice as to where I should stay (usually this wouldn't be an issue, but this is the guy I would have dropped my life to be with, this is the first guy that I was able to open up my heart too...so there is some history). He wants to spend time with me (as do I)...so he has offered his home and a car that I could drive around to/from the conference site. On the other hand, I can stay at the hotel and he can some to see me there because I wasn't planning on renting a car. I don't want to be a inconvenience...although he says I won't be. My intuition and heart is telling me to stay with him...I have a feeling that this isn't going to be just a normal everyday visit. I guess I don't need to advice per say because I already know what I'm going to do, with that said...I am very much to looking forward to my trip to AZ this summer! Although, my head is telling me to stay at the hotel...so that I have that distance, etc. The timing is finally right for once...

Also, now I really need to get down to 210 by June...not because of him, but because I want to look good and feel good about myself. However, as silly as this sounds, I do want to look good for him. I know that I need to get fit for myself and I am, but he will be my motivator! Heck, the first 110 pounds were for myself...so what's wrong with 25 of those pounds be for a guy? Maybe because I would be mostly likely to gain them back?!

----
Unrelated note, eating disorders are contagious...well, learned from friends. I'll explain later. My informal case study at school.

almost three years ago...

2008-04-20T19:59:00.004+09:00

Yeap, that was me Spring of 2005. =) I just wanted to say that I've started writing entries, but got busy doing something else and haven't gotten around to finishing them. So please stayed turned to the following bog topics that will be posted on this site within the next few days:

-thing you notice when you lose 100 pounds
-shopping
-attitudes
-working out
-change in end of the school year goal
-summer break

mini-goals

2008-04-17T05:06:00.004+09:00

I would like to be in the 210s when I go back to the states on June 21st. So I have two months to lose 25 pounds because my last weigh in I was @ 235. I know I can do it...if I stay focused. Also, by the time I go back to Japan @ the end of the summer I would like to be in the 180s...so that's 20 pounds over the summer. Only time will tell, I have to admit it's been nice being able to walk into a "normal" size clothing store and be able to wear some of the items. =) This is where I would like to be, however, I do have until the end of the year to get myself into the 190s. I just need to set some goals to help me stay on track!

the other woman by coelho

2008-04-12T15:51:00.001+09:00

Eve was walking in the Garden of Eden, when a serpent came over.
"Eat this apple," said the serpent.
Eve, having been instructed by God, refused.
"Eat this apple," insisted the serpent, "you must look more beautiful for your man."
"No need," answered Eve, "there is no other woman besides me."
The serpent laughed: "Of course there is."
And, since Eve didn't believe him, he took her high up on a hill, where there was a well.
"She is in that cave; Adam is hiding her in there."
Eve leaned forward and saw, reflected in the water down the well, a beautiful woman. Immediately, without hesitation, she ate the apple the serpent was offering her. www.paulocoelhoblog.com
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I will leave it for your own interpretation. =)

the gap

2008-04-11T07:58:00.002+09:00

Had to return a few shirts I ordered from The Gap today. They were both way too big. The sales clerk says to me, "you're too small to be wearing an XL." I know she meant well and I took it as a complimen (was actually flattered), but what would she had said if i was much larger returning something that was way too small. Just food for thought. Off to the Pop Conference!

weighty issues...

2008-04-11T02:31:00.004+09:00

So being at home has been interesting. I still have a laundry list of things that I need to take care of, but I don't think everything is going to happen. I've been good about going to the gym and working out, etc.

I've had a nice time so far...I've been able to spend time with friends (s0me of whom I don't get to see that often). I realized yesterday hanging out with a friend of mine and my artist guy friend (who I liked last summer) that I still have "issues" with my weight and how I believe that guys should view me. As they were talking I felt really insignificant because they were getting along (she has a boyfriend), but that's just part of her personality extremely outgoing. I've always hid behind my weight and started to go back to my old ways again last night. I started to feel as if I really didn't matter because I'm still fat and my confidence dwindled. Not that I'm reaping of confidence or anything like that. Anyhow, she only stayed for one drink, but chemistry between the artist and myself definitely changed. There had always been this intense sexual tension...to the point that when he would touch my hand I would get goose bumps, but last night it was oh-hum-la-de-da. Funny because it was there when he gave me a hug at the start of the evening. He did noticed that I've lost some weight and I looked "lovely". I don't know...maybe it's for the best.

Rewind, earlier in the evening, when I was having dinner with my friend...we, of course, talked guys and travel. I told her about the with thing with BH (the bassist) and the artist. I had dinner with the bassist the day before. We had a nice time, but I had to put my guard up because I'm not in the mood to get hurt again...at least I can hide behind it. I know So I was purposely distant and stand off-ish towards him...despite our "history". We talked about why I'm not dating for a year...he doesn't understand why I would do that because "I'm a great girl, etc...". Well, I'm doing it because I have to learn to have some confidence in myself (I didn't tell him that) and really start working on the effort to be more outgoing and build positive relationships with people. I can be outgoing depending on the setting and I have struck up conversations with "strangers", but it's hard sometimes because I've been in "hiding" for so long. Before, I would just keep to myself and "hide". We talked about how I'm hard to read when it comes to guys. I can see that. I always give off mixed signals...it's how I cope and deal with things. If he doesn't like me, so be it. If he does great...so in my warped up way of viewing things it's a win-win situation thus finding my way to a pint of ice cream to cope. (The ice cream bit is what I used to do.) Both guys are great guys and I'm lucky that they are friends of mine and maybe I'll just keep it that way. Well, I kind of have too...

Why is it so difficult?

chicken and broccoli...once again!

2008-04-08T09:59:00.004+09:00

I went out to lunch with a few friends who were former students yesterday at TGIFriday. =) I had a few more options here than I did in Japan. I didn't eat all of it and it was around 500 calories! Not too shabby.

I had a great workout today! So good to be back! I like the new gym, but it seems small. My brother's friend is still there...we chatted a bit and told me to keep up the good work.

greetings...

2008-04-06T14:52:00.006+09:00

I'm back in the states for the week and it's been difficult NOT to give into temptation (esp. Panera). Seriously, there is so much "junk "out there and some of it looks quite tasty. Thank goodness I can't eat any of it. =) I never realized the variety...I guess just got used to the lack of variety in Japan. One thing that I am excited about is the Rice Milk (chocolate flavor). Instead of shopping for clothes and all that good stuff, I am going to shop for spices, olive oil, etc. Silly I know. Food wise...I had to explain to my mom that I'm only eating whole and fresh foods (for the most part) because of my food allergies and wanting to not pollute my body with "fake" food. So I went grocery shopping and ended up spending a lot more than I expected because everything here is so expensive. *sigh*

My flight was ok. I'm glad that I brought my own food because they didn't have my special meal prepared for me. Which was ok because the bite of what I had tasted of salt. My taste buds have changed/are changing. So I didn't even bother scarfing any of i it down. I gave the guy sitting next to me my dessert, snacks, and dinner roll.

I also stepped on the scale yesterday morning and I'm down to 235. =) Oh yeah, my gym has moved to a new location and it's pretty sweet! Also, dried blueberries are absolutely divine!

it's official....

2008-04-03T20:59:00.002+09:00

I'm going white river rafting next month! My students convinced me even though I had already made up my mind that I was going to go. The trip for the end of this month was sold out...so I signed up for the trip on May 10th. I was originally supposed to spend the weekend in Tokyo, but I canceled those plans. Anyhow, I have to finish packing for my brief trip to the states. =)

i guess people do notice...

2008-03-31T19:38:00.004+09:00

I've always said that people aren't watching you when you workout because they are too busy concentrating on themselves. (Maybe I'm the one not paying attention.) Well, I guess I was wrong. While I was doing a bit of weight training today, Zoey (she's one the personal trainers) came up to me and wanted to tell me that I should be proud of myself because of what I have accomplished. She totally caught me off guard because I was "in the zone". =) She just wanted to congratulate me on a job well done because it's not easy to lose a lot of weight, etc. I guess her clients talk about me during their sessions because they have noticed the weight loss and my workout routine. We talked for a bit. Zoey is really nice, she has always intimated me because she's so buff because she's a professional bodybuilder. We had a good conversation and she was really motivating, just what I needed to hear because the last few month hasn't been all that easy for me. All in all, people do notice... I guess I should really work on my form since that's the case. =)

Also, I have decided to go on the white river rafting day trip. I was told that I shouldn't worry because we're were going is considered class 3 (whatever that means). Plus, there will be a trained instructor there for those of us "who are nervous" (aka new to rafting). I'm excited, but nervous all at the same time!

taking a risk...

2008-03-31T02:33:00.006+09:00

There is a white water river rafting trip I would like to go on next month. Here comes the "but"... I'm nervous because I am not a strong swimmer and I'm worried that the raft will not hold me. Hence, not being a strong swimmer. The trip sounds like a lot of fun, I don't know anyone else who's going and/or has expressed interest in going besides myself. I know that I'm using my weight as an excuse not to go...

Workout Music that Matters...

2008-03-30T07:12:00.007+09:00

Here's my current workout mix courtesy of KEXP's Music That Matters podcasts. =) Perfect for cardio and weight training!

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Vol. 77: Chilly's Favorite Hip-Hop of 2007
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1. Brother Ali - Lookin' At Me Sideways
2. Dyme Def - Clap Clap
3. Copperpot - Art Of Rap feat. Masta Ace and Edo G
4. Pharoahe Monch - Body Baby
5. Cancer Rising - Evryday Bidness
6. Galactic - From The Corner To The Block feat. Juvenile and Soul Rebels Brass Band
7. Wax Tailor – Positively Inclined feat. M. Quaisse and A.S.M.
8. Omni – Bang The Drum
9. Brother Reade – Everywhere I Go
10. Marco Polo – Rollin' feat. Sadat X, Ju Ju and AG
11. Zeph and Azeem – Everything's Different
12. El-P – Up All Night
13. Shape Of Broad Minds – Let's Go feat. MF Doom
14. edIT – Arsty Remix feat. Grouch
15. Luckyiam – Rap, Rap, Rap
16. Grayskul – Missing feat. Andrea Zollo
17. RZA – Cameo Afro feat. Big Daddy Kane, GZA and Suga Bang
18. Blue Scholars – Joe Metro
19. Aesop Rock – Citronella
20. Livesavas – The Warning
21. Gabriel Teodros – East Afrika

Here are a few of my favorite podcasts to workout to (and even just listen to) whether it's just walking , cardio, etc...

Vol 64: It's John Bitch
Vol 69: KEXPlicit
Vol 74: The Best Podcast Ever
Vol 75: Larry Loungecast vol. 1
Vol 78: The Year Before 2008
Vol 85: Hip Hop As We Know It
Vol 86: The Meaning of 86

Theses podcasts can be found on iTunes or KEXP.org. =)

perspective...

2008-03-27T16:51:00.004+09:00

What a difference a year makes! Funny because a year ago, I thought I was looking good. Feeling good, definitely! Can't wait to see myself a year from now. =)

a slight gain... =(

2008-03-21T06:18:00.003+09:00

I weighed in this morning and I gained SIX POUNDS! =( I don't feel as if I've gained weight although I did feel really bloated the other day. Usually, I indicate how I'm doing through how my clothes fit and they are not getting tight. Anyhow, I'm not going to beat myself up, even though I was hoping to be in the 220 this month. Maybe I need to lay off the granola. I know that I'm not eating any more or less (with the exception of my day fast...maybe that's what killed me, but I needed it.) I do know that I haven't been drinking enough water lately. I'm averaging 50oz or so a day. Who knows? So for two weeks, I'll be really diligent about documenting everything, hours spent working out, lifting and recording what I eat. Looks like it's going to take a bit longer to get myself out of the 230s. *sigh* However, I should celebrate because it could be a lot worst and I have worked hard to get myself to this point.

jean verdict...

2008-03-19T19:43:00.003+09:00

So far, Gap has beat out LB and Seven because I'm finding that I've been wearing them the most. The LB's are still too big in the waist, but they fit. I think I just need to go to the actual store and try them on, but can't do that right now. =) I ordered a pair of Seven jeans from Macy's on sale (of course) and they fit fine, but they are a bit low. Doing the muffin top thing, just isn't for me. All three pair should work until the end of the school year, they might be baggy but I can hold off for awhile. Just think, I've gone many years without wearing jeans.

I also found out that I can write-off shipping expenses when if I decide to ship the clothes that I can't wear anymore back to the states. I want them to go to an organization that will use them instead of for just reselling them for profit. I was thinking Dress for Less (again), BUT they are really slow about giving you a receipt. My mom knows of a few organizations in Seattle that are in need to "plus-size" professional clothing. Since I'm going back in a few weeks, I may take advantage of the third piece if luggage and 70lb weight limit and take a bunch of clothes back and just the extra piece of luggage at home. I really don't have a need for it here. It's just going to be a pain in the butt lugging that stuff around. But it's worth it...

I'm slowly inching my way out of the plus size arena... =)

fasting...

2008-03-18T06:00:00.002+09:00

I'm going to fast today. I feel as if I need to detox my system because I'm bloated and feel icky inside.

blame the corn...

2008-03-15T02:29:00.003+09:00

Is it making us fat? I heard about this on npr's conversation hour (via kuow) a few weeks ago and wrote about the notion of "real food". Check out Micheal Pollan's in Defense of Food. I have to admit that the fresh meat that I purchase off base tastes so much better then the frozen meat I purchase on base. I don't think the Japanese corn feed their chicken, cows, etc. This is another reason, why I'm really careful about what I put into my mouth. You would be surprised how many items have corn. I might add corn (not the actual kernels) to my list of can't have...

the zebra jacket...

2008-03-14T18:36:00.005+09:00

Most of my clothes are pretty basic and plain. When I was heavier I would have never in a million years order a zebra print jacket (on sale from j.crew w/an additional 20% off). So I decided to treat myself to something fun...besides black, charcoal gray, blues, and browns. I haven't decided when I'll wear it yet. It fits, but I want to wear it when I don't have to wear a heavy coat. Actually, it looks cute with a pair of dark jeans. =)

I also saw this dress that I really like, but it costs way, way, way too much. So it's not in my budget. I'll just continue to window shop for now. On the other hand, that would be about three concert tickets, but it's still way too expensive.

Today, I went to the gym after work. I lifted weights for about an hour or so. Last year, I put my name on the locker year (actually it was over a year ago) and STILL NO LOCKER. I inquired about it today. It really isn't fair because I get pushed back because I'm not married to someone who is active duty. I can understand that active duty personal get first dibs because they have to do physical training every morning, but their spouses. Or there should be a better system that's fair. I was curious, so I looked at a few of the lockers and most are not being used and haven't been used for quite sometime. I know this because you can see into the lockers. They have a certain about of lockers that you can use for a few hours...many are scattered about the locker room. Which I really don't mind doing, but if I start going to the gym every other morning, I'm not really wanting to haul all my stuff back-n-forth. I know I am making some lame excuses. The guy at the counter felt bad because I'm always there (well, you know what I mean) and he couldn't do anything about it. It's not his fault, but how the system is set up. He did tell me that (not confirmed yet because the commander has to approve), they are going to do away with the individual lockers because most aren't being used (active duty can still apply for one). Ok, I'm done complaining...all is well now!

confessions of a lapse exerciser...

2008-03-14T05:49:00.002+09:00

I read the article, Confessions of a Lapse Exerciser, a few days ago. It's from Self Magazine (December '07 issue). I'm about two/three months behind in reading my magazines...just not really all that interested anymore, because after a while they basically say the same things over again. I still have Jan, Feb, March, and April in the plastic wrapper...same with Marie Claire. I haven't been keeping up with Prevention either. This is not an indication of my "state of mine" because I"m still focused! I just have too many other things to do. I blame my addiction to NPR and books. lol

Happy losing!

i've been lazy...

2008-03-13T17:40:00.003+09:00

This week I haven't been all that great about going to the gym to lift weights, BUT I have been doing cardio, walking, and playing wii at home. =(

The hives are starting to come back because of the "moldy" smell in my building, had a few pipes burst over the weekend and there was about a foot of water in the building. Lucky, for me my room wasn't affected. And it's also Cherry Blossom season.

Today, I made pumpkin spice and vanilla flavored granola. Turned out well.

It's blood orange season!!! I just need to find a store in my area who sells them...

on hope...

2008-03-12T05:05:00.000+09:00

Good morning. Don't give up! Live in the land of hope.. Shun discouragement! When you keep hope alive things around you begin to prosper!! hope!

God is Love
Rev Run

how did i do it?

2008-03-05T01:24:00.005+09:00

Exercise and watching what I ate. Simple. It was just time for me to get off the couch and take the fork out of my mouth. There really wasn't a magic formula and I STILL have a ways to go. I woke up one morning and decided that I needed to make a change in my life. So I got out of bed at 4 something and dusted off my TaeBo dvds and started walking. I didn't beat myself up (well tried not too) if I "messed up". I didn't deny myself anything. I just took it one day at a time. I just realized that if I wanted to live a fulfilled healthy happy life...I needed to make a change. Otherwise, right now as I type this at 1:30 in the morning. I could have ballooned up to 400 pounds. I really think I was heading in that direction...

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I had a colleague not give me a resistant band at our faculty meeting because she "assumed" that I wouldn't use it...when almost everyone got one. I'm probably in better shape than she it and could run (or walk really fast) circles around her. I asked her about it and had to "school" her on the difference in bands. (I was nice about it.) It would have been nice to have an extra one in my classroom. I do use them from time to time when I'm stressed. Personally, I think she is dealing with some of her own personal issues that she has somehow transfered onto me. I let it go...life's too short to dwell on such issues.

weight loss t-shirts...

2008-03-04T06:07:00.003+09:00

Last year, I had this idea to make "weight loss" related t-shrits, etc. Well, I finally got around to "designing" a few. Stay tuned!

One of my students wants to make lunch for me because he "feels sorry for me". I keep on telling him that there is no need to feel sorry fer me because I do eat...I actually have many great choices. I guess in his mind, since I can't have that chocolate pie from Burger King that they sell for breakfast...I am at a lost. It's quite funny. So he and his mom are going to make a Filipino dish for me. Very sweet of him... =)

No am workout this morning due to a much needed good night's sleep. One of the best yet. I am going to the gym to life weights after work. =)

Also, I can have mekans again! I thought I was having a reaction to them when I was really reacting to something else I consumed, but I'm not going to eat more than two a day...like I used to. Nor will I eat them every single day like I used to. I thought I would try one because I've been using the lemon olive oil and lemon juice, etc without any reactions.

Ok, off to another exciting day of work. If it were up to me, I would take the day off, but I have very few days left. Plus, tomorrow, I'm in Tokyo for a student council meeting...a meeting that's only 2 hours long is an all day affair because of traffic, etc. =)

happy losing!

inside my fridge...

2008-03-01T15:03:00.004+09:00

Heres a look inside my fridge. Notice the Odwalla! I decided to treat myself. Yes, I know it's empty calories. They are now selling it at the commissary in Atsugi. As I walked around I noticed that they are starting to get more gluten free/organic stuff, but they still have a ways to go in my humble opinion. I also made hummus (second shelf) which was really easy to make ended freezing most of it, cabbage salad (bottom shelf), and some broth. But what you see is pretty typical as and the end of the week nears it's usually empty. I got the tomatoes off base (like I do with most of my produce) and they are the best tasting ever...sweet and just right. I know that you're not supposed to put them in the refrigerator...sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Anyhow, I know the inside of my fridge is not the most exciting thing on the face of the earth, but I thought I would share. (You can check out my smug mug account to see inside my cabinets, freezer, etc).

So here's a cabbage salad that I made. Personally, I love the colors! Its basically shredded cabbage with olive oil and garlic. This should last for a few days.

Ok, I need new workout clothes. It's nice that they are loose on me, but now when you're swimming in them. I can hold off until I'm back in the states in a few weeks. Just like I need new bras and underwear again. *sigh* That's the only "downside" to losing weight...it seems like I am always having to replenish. I guess I shouldn't say downside, but you know what I mean.

I read an article on nytimes.org about "The Dreaded Weigh-In". Basically, stepping on the scale for most (esp, women) is worst than seeing the doctor. Many don't go to the doctors because they don't want to be weighed. In fear that someone might see/hear how much they weigh. When I was heavier I dreaded stepping on the scale mostly because I was in denial about how much I actually weighed, but I would never not go or skip an appointment because I didn't want to step on the scale. Today, I welcome it because they're just numbers, but I also tend to dress lighter as well. lol I remember many years back, the nurse had o double check the scale because she thought I weighed less than I actually did. It was quite funny...

yet another food post...

2008-02-27T17:11:00.010+09:00

So here's a picture of me (far left) from 2006. Actually, March 15, 2006. I only know the date because it was taken in Nagoya at the annual Fertility Festival. It's crazy because I thought I looked good. I didn't think I was that heavy... =) Never again will I go back...

A few nights ago, I had dinner with some friends at TGI Friday's. So this was my choice...dry chicken and broccoli. Despite the bland food, I had a great time hanging out with friends I don't see all that often.

My brown rice pasta finally came today. I haven't had pasta in so long. So I made a pasta dish for dinner and it actually didn't turn out too bad. Sorry, no picture...camera battery had died. =( I was never a big pasta eater, so that probably won't change. It's just nice having some more options. I just have to be careful because the calorie per cup is rather high.

Yesterday, I was listening to KUOW's Weekday podcast. Michael Pollan, author of In Defense of Real Food, was on defending real food because we're not really eating "real food" anymore. It was quite interesting because he made a lot of sense. I have a feeling that the chicken I had for dinner the other night was processed because it just didn't taste right (not because it was dry). I'll continue to make my own meals using fresh ingredients (or "real" foods). I've always enjoyed food, but now my love affair has grown...not to the point that I'm going to gorge myself. I'm enjoying the variety of tastes, the textures, the smells, etc. So this weekend, I'm going to make this Roasted Tomato Soup, Roasted Tomato Hummus (minus the sesame seed paste), and Shredded Cabbage this weekend! =)

food glorious food...

2008-02-24T08:20:00.004+09:00

I took a nice walk around my neighborhood this early, early this morning. It was so relaxing and peaceful. I might take a walk tomorrow morning...depending on the weather. Spring is indeed on it's way! I made this salad last weekend and decided to take a picture of it because it looked vary appealing. Basically, it's spinach/mixed greens with ground chicken w/ various bell peppers, some curry/chili powder, garlic, and lemon flavored olive oil (which is too die for!). I also made a lentil bean soup and added some of the ground chicken. I'm just trying to add variety into my diet.

Last night, I made three batched of granola: vanilla (added vanilla extract), cocoa flavoring (added two tablespoons of fresh cocoa powder), and flaxseeds (whole). I prefer the vanilla granola because it was "just right". I think I may be allergic to flaxseeds because I had a slight reaction. The cocoa granola tasted fine and it'll be perfect when I crave chocolate because it's the taste is overpowering...next time I know to use just 1 TB. I made a roasted (sort of) mixed barry sauce/mix (blackberries, blueberries and raspberries) for my granola (makes for a nice sweet snack). The sauce/mix also works with a green salad.

It's funny because I have so many food options out there for me...I just have to get creative. I am trying to embrace a whole food diet as best as I can. As I said awhile back, I am not going to put anything in my mouth if I don't know how the pronounce it or know what it is...if I can help it. Granted, it's not as "convenient" because it takes a little bit of planning ahead and it has been hard at times. But the positives outweigh the convenient factor. I have so much more energy and I am finding that food made from "scratch" tastes ten times better...you can really taste the flavors. I really look forward to preparing my meals and it really doesn't take a whole lot of extra time.

Tomorrow, I'm going to TGI Friday's for dinner with some friends. Should be an interesting experience because I checked on-line and I'm not too sure what I can have since they don't have their nutritional posted. Plus, their menu in Japan is different from the states. =( So it might just be another salad w/ plain grilled chicken which is fine by me. There is an Indian restaurant nearby that I really wanted to go to BUT I'm going to wait and go with a Japanese friend, so they can help me with the menu. So when I go by myself I'll be ok.

Also, I started back up with weight training and I'm back...hopefully!

my lowest weight in over 15 years...i think?!

2008-02-21T05:43:00.002+09:00

drum roll...

2
3
2

woot!

also, my first attempt to making granola turned out to be a bust...basically, it caught on fire in my convection oven. nothing too serious...thank goodness! my house smells like burnt granola...even with my windows cracked and air filters on high. so last night I attempted to make it again, better luck because I actually paid attention, but still some of it burnt. I realized that my oven cooks things a lot faster than a regular oven...so I'm going to make another batch tonight. Yes, I have no life, but I want to get it right because homemade granola is quite tasty and better for me. =)

making granola...

2008-02-18T13:14:00.005+09:00

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when I went to the commissary and noticed that they had rice milk and a variety of gluten/wheat free cereal. Of course, most I couldn't have because of the "soy" and "nut" issue. I'm not too sure how I missed the cereal...probably because I'm not much of a cereal eater and I tend to spend most of my time looking at the fresh produce. Really depends on the time of year. =) I was checking the section to see if they had Ouinoa, of course, they did not. Anyhow, I ended up buying a box Cascadian Farms' Honey and Oats (only to find out later that some of their boxes have soy and some don't). The box that I purchased didn't indicate that soy was present, but when I decided to doubled checked online it said that it had soy and after a few bites...it indeed has soy. =( Anyhow, I've decided to make my own granola cereal. Seems simple enough...

Big Batch Granola
1 box (6 cups) rolled oats
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup honey
1/3 cup oil, any kind
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup dried fruit, optional

Also, I cleaned out my closets (once again) and kitchen cabinets. Lots of stuff to give away! It feels great to purge...and get rid of stuff that you don't need any more. I watched an episode of Oprah when I was in Okinawa (I think) and it was about people who have a difficult time getting rid of stuff and live in clutter....which is part of the reason why they are over weight. Quite interesting because looking at my life...I've been there. I admit, I can be a pack rat at times, but I have been learning to throw things away that I don't need, etc. I do need to do a better job with my dining room table because it has become a placeholder for my mail, etc. Lose the clutter and drop the pounds.

This week I hope to start back going to the gym three days a week to lift weights. =) I have a colleague who is starting to work with a personal trainer this week, I asked her who it was and she wouldn't say... I got the feeling that she doesn't want me to know who for various reasons. I'm not going to take him away because if I'm going to work with someone it's going to be my brother and I know what I need to do workout wise, etc. I was just curious as to who she was going to be working with because there are only two choices that I know of at the gym and I'm not going to comment on either one. I will continue to support her in her efforts.

Another colleagues thought I had Gastric Bypass surgery done. I guess there is some rumor going around my school that's how I lost the weight and can't eat certain food items. Did they not see me at the gym almost everyday last year. I worked my ass off to get where I am at today and it wasn't easy...it's still not easy. So I had to tell him that I did it through hard work: diet and exercise...a lifestyle change more or less. I also had o explain to him that I have food allergies. There is nothing wrong with GB surgery it just wasn't for me because I knew that I could drop the pounds if I had made some changes. I briefly looked into lap band surgery a few years ago because I was at a breaking point in my life and a few months later I started working out. =)

always remember:
"You say you're beautiful. Don't wait for someone else to say it." -IMAN

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2008-02-14T05:41:00.003+09:00

Love yourself today. Well you know what I mean. =)
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Good morning. NEVER let the way other people treat you determine your worth and value. (Remember this) No matter how hard we try, we cannot please all of the people all the time.

God is Love
Rev Run
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A few friends are going to come over this evening to watch a sappy movie and enjoy the following:

I also discovered that I can eat Kettle Chips (if I have a salt craving) because they don't contain soy, wheat, and a bunch of other stuff. I'm not too sure if that's a good thing or not. lol Moderation is the key. =)

they fit!!

2008-02-12T05:31:00.000+09:00

I ordered a pair of essential jeans from the gap and they fit! They are just a bit snug in the thigh area, but within a month that will all change. No gaps in the waist. =) This is my first pair of non-plus size jeans! I also ordered a pair of LB jeans a few days ago. I'm Blue 2...so we'll see which pair works best for my body type. =)

Update @ 5:57pm:
I also ordered a jean skirt from Banana Republic before I left for Okinawa and it arrived today. I was also able to squeeze my fat ass into the size 16 skirt. I know it sounds silly, but I wasn't expecting that it would fit. I still see myself wearing much larger sizes because I have for so long.

I've been experimenting with food. Yesterday, I baked white sweet potatoes with cinnamon and honey. Pretty tasty! This weekend I made homemade bean soup for rainy and cold days. My plan is to spend Sunday cooking things for the week and freeze what I don't need. I still have chili in the freeze from the last time. Lunch will continue to be my big meal of the day.

finally a decent meal (two nights in a row)...

2008-02-07T21:26:00.000+09:00

Last night, my team (drama) and I went to the O-club for BBQ Mongolian Grill. They were growing tired of fast food as was I because I can no longer eat fast food. I haven't had a decent meal. I was concerned about having Mongolian because of all the seafood, soy/sesame/peanut based sauces, and the high potential for cross contamination. I ended up just having cabbage, peppers, rice, and chicken with a vinegar and sweet water sauce. I was also surprised that the chef was really accommodating when I told him not to use the same utensils that he used to grill my student's food. He even took the time to clean the grill before grilled my dinner. I wish I had taken a picture of my meal. I actually liked to vinegar/sweet water flavoring. I doubt if I could recreate it at home.

Tonight. We went to the Macaroni Grill for our team dinner. I love, love Italian food, but I was cool just looking at it. Everything looked and smelled so good. I was almost tempted to order something off the forbidden list and just deal with the consequences. Sometimes it's really hard to stay away. The manager and waiter brought out an allergy book and showed me my options. I was able to have two things off the menu, but they had to be modified. I was surprised that they were really accommodating. All their sauces had soy and their pasta made of wheat. =( I ended up ordering the skinny chicken and a small dinner salad with sun dried tomatoes. The chef made a tomato and olive oil sauce for me. The broccoli was to die for! I heart my veggies. I am so glad that I am NOT allergic to tomatoes!

Tomorrow, we have our coaches meeting at the same restaurant and I already know that I won't be able to enjoy the same lunch...so I'll just order the chicken again even though it'll be against the directors' wishes. He told me not to order anything off the menu and "just deal with it".

I've been "shy" about telling people how much weight I've lost when they ask me "if I've lost weight". One of my students' told me that I needed to be proud because what I have done is hard to do...she's right. Also, I found out that a former colleague had the gastric bypass surgery done. Good for here because I know she wasn't happy with her weight! She seems much more happier. It just wasn't an option that I wanted to pursue for myself. I'm doing this my way. lol I know that immediate gratification is nice, but I need to grow into my new body in order for me to appreciate it. Yes, it can be frustrating when you only lose a pound a week. It needs to be gradual for me. This time last year I was 300 pounds. I just need to have older pictures of me around me to help remind me what I used to look like to help me stay on track.

One thing that I can do easily and not think about it is...crossing my legs for a long period of time! Silly...I know!

I didn't get much exercise this week. =(

apples and bananas...

2008-02-06T10:28:00.000+09:00

I've been in Okinawa since Sunday. I packed enough food to last for a day or so because I knew that we would have the opportunity to go to the grocery store during the week. I finally went yesterday, but they didn't have anything other than apples that I could eat during the week. Lunch is at the food court and there are no other options for me on base. So I've been eating apples and bananas during the day. We went to this mall yesterday and they had so many food options, but I couldn't enjoy them. =( I have realized that when I travel, I need to make sure I have ALL that I need for the duration of my trip. As I write this, I am really wanting something to eat because I haven't been. I'm almost tempted to eat a burger during lunch today, but I don't want to deal with the after effects. It would be much easier if I could cook in my room, but that's against the rules. I weighted myself when we left and I'm at 240. It will be interesting to see what it is when I fly back on Saturday.

Ok, I know that some of you are parents and would you like your daughter do the following...or would it be of concern? I have a student who was slender to start with, but now she is wanting to be a size 1. She's at a 3 right now. Anyhow, she was telling the other girls about "her diet"...she basically eats one a piece of fruit for lunch and dinner. On the weekends, she can eat whatever she wanted to...like an entire cake. One of her classmates, wanted to know what her parents thought of her eating habits. Her parents know, but they can't do anything about it, but when she eats on the weekend, everything is "OK". I asked her if she would continue "her plan" when she gets down to a size 0. She would because she'll have to maintain. Personally, I think she's on the boardline of an eating disorder. I guess I shouldn't talk because fruit is all I've had recently.

i can see the difference...

2008-01-29T17:51:00.000+09:00

After drama practice, I had to go to the bathroom. I know TMI. Anyhow, when I walked out of the stall, I saw myself in the full length mirror and can see why people have been reacting the way that they have been. I could tell that I have lost a significant of weight. I just stood there looking at myself...thinking about what I have accomplished in over a year. I am half way there so there is no turning back now. If I can do this! You can do this!!

is it really that noticeable? i can't tell...

2008-01-28T22:02:00.000+09:00

This morning, a student in my seminar class walked in and said, "Wow, your face looks thinner...you lost weight did you Ms.D?" Keep in mind I see him almost every other day and he just now noticed. I kid. Basically, my day consisted of students and colleagues saying something to me about my weight. I know that I'm thinner and I can see a difference from what I looked like last year, but I can't see the day-to-day difference. I do know that it's time to purchase a few staple items, because I'm having a difficult time finding things to wear in my closest...either too big or too small. My mom gave me a few skirts for Christmas and they are too big. I've been rockin the low ride twisted around skirt look. I ordered my first pair of jeans from the Gap (thanks Sarah), so keep your fingers crossed.

I decided to take a picture of my current lunch salad. It's basically apples, tomatoes, and mixed wild greens with a dash of olive oil, a dash of cinnamon, and a few splashes of red wine vinegar. It's quite tasty! The cinnamon adds an extra zing. At least I think so! I'm no longer have cravings for my old soy based sesame seed vinaigrette's dressing, but I have been wanting some milk chocolate. I went grocery shopping yesterday and had to stop myself from putting the Meiji Chocolate bar in my basket. Breaking my chocolate addiction is going to be difficult. I'll have to search for a proper substitute. Speaking of sweats, I have about 1/3 of the cake left. It's in my freeze. =)

the cake has arrived...

2008-01-26T09:31:00.000+09:00

I ordered a strawberry cake from Cadeau, a bakery in Osaka specializing in allergen free sweets, last weekend. I just wanted to "test it out". Seriously! =) Anyhow, they delivered it yesterday evening. I had a piece and it was delightful: moist and creamy, and not too sweet. I'm pound of myself because I've just had one piece and was satisfied. In the past,I would have devoured the entire thing not enjoying the flavors, etc. Because of the cost and the crappy yen rate, I will only order for special occasions.

On a "positive" note, I might reach my '08 weight loss goal sooner than later because when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning I was at 244...that's my lowest ever in many years. But I know part of the reason why I'm down 3 pounds is that I'm not getting the calories that my body needs (aka not eating a whole lot). I'm trying to eat more, but it's hard. Once I start experimenting with various recipes...my eating should improve for the better. At least, I've been good about working out daily...so that'll help me keep up my strength. =)

the problem with jeans...

2008-01-24T19:30:00.000+09:00

I just can't seem to find a pair that actually works with my body type because I'm a bottom heavy gal with a "small" waist. I'm not too sure how to solve this problem because I now have a few different pairs of jeans and they are too big in the waist is always an issues. I'll probably have to get them altered somewhere. Suggestions? Thoughts? Maybe when I am more proportionate I can find a pair that would work. It has been so long since I've enjoyed wearing pair of pants...